To be Mature

Back then, someone told me and my older sister that I’d probably be a contented homemaker, while she would be a woman of the world. I think I was organizing my stuff that time while listening to Daniel Powter’s Bad Day when the comment was made. Back when we were in school, I’d remember my sister being the active student. She liked to be the leader and loved joining extracurricular activities. On my part, I’d enjoy myself surrounded with my introvert friends, poems, animes and loud songs.

Fast forward to present, I couldn’t validate any meaning to the prophesy quoted years back. While, I don’t consider myself woman of the world, I feel that I’m on my way of treading paths that are unlikely to settle for contentment of a homemaker. At my age now, my sister was already nursing a two-year old baby, while shuffling time between work, dreams and her immature husband. I have nothing against being hitched or being a mother, but seeing how distressing and dreary her condition now, I regret a lot of things which she could have achieved if she chose another path.

My sister was a big dreamer. She planned a lot. When I was half my age I dreamt that my sister becomes rich so she could send our youngest sister to school and buy a house for our mother, that was in accordance on what she dreamt back then, anyway. I saw myself not having a lot of money but traveling all over. I saw myself teaching kids in a far-flung mountain. Writing poems, fictions and even on the walls.

My friends would always hear me whine how my sister has been forever irresponsible about money, about being obstinate and proud. I’d complain about having to share her troubles and stress. But, I would be reminded somehow that I need to understand her because I am blessed and free and know what I wanted. While, she has to bear the weight of raising a child and a husband, I have the choice to live on my own. Yet, I just couldn’t while I am young because I feel that my family needs to stick together.

I still see a lot of crap in her, in her life, and as much as I wanted to tell her off, she’s still my older sister, and anyway and she can have the liberty to live the way she wanted. And I’m not perfect too, so for the mean time we’ll live in the synchrony of our imperfections as we tread our separate paths of womanhood.