when life goes on

For the past months this year, I have really been busy. In fact, I have not seen a lot of old friends for a long time.

Somehow, I don't feel that my life has been treading a dead end. My work isn't ideal. I have a family duty that has to be sustained in a few more months. Or maybe more.

Some of my friends have married/have children. I am single, but I don't have a booming career as a trophy to conceal this deficiency. When I try to look at my life in one angle, it isn't actually that great.

However, in the small corner of my life, things have been going to a positive direction, I guess. I have met a few personalities this year and the previous year who have inspired me directly and indirectly towards my goal in life.

I am slowly turning vegetarian. And that is an important goal. I have less needs and wants. But this does not mean that I am not living my life to the fullest.

Some people conceive incorrectly that when you become a vegetarian or do not get to travel a lot for leisure, is that you are wasting your youth.

First of all, vegetarianism is good for me. I need lesser foods. But more nutritious and favorable. I don't get to ward off diseases 100% by scrapping off meat in my diet, but at least I am taking care of my body that way, and the environment at the same time. It is not that I am sacrificing a lot, and will regret not trying out different foods when I get older.

Look at the older people. For sure they've tasted pork or beef or chicken dishes when they were younger, but they'd risk having high blood (or threat for their current disease) for the day when any of these meat is served. You have no escape. Your tongue will long for the taste.

So, why not scrap meat right now? The taste will haunt you if you try to linger.

Sometimes, I feel sad that I do not have enough money to help my family. Like buy stuff in the house or something. But somehow, I realize, it is alright that I am able to cook food for my family and share to them vegetarian dishes.

It is a problem on my part too to meet old friends who are not vegetarian, I want to share to them the benefits of eating meat-free with gentleness and in a-not-defensive-manner. But I feel left out just thinking about it.

I have friends who are vegetarians themselves and I am happy to get some ideas on cooking.  I always wish to share to my old friends the benefits of scrapping meat, but I am not a good speaker.  I do not want to be self-righteous, but sometimes the conversation gos on that direction.


Oh love songs

We try to listen to love songs from which we cannot relate and squeeze all the feeling of love we can get from the words and melody.

We want the pains of separation and the joys of short rendezvous. But the truth is the love we are looking for isn't here, yet it envelopes us. We are anxiously looking for the water to fill our thirst, but we only find empty cups.

I have been looking for you for millions of lifetimes, why do I still choose to live far from your love? Your gaze can simply wash all these pains away, so as all the worries, but I try to cherish the shards of broken glass instead of the diamonds you are offering.


Oh the rain is coming

Half of the year has already passed, and things that I have been waiting for have not unfolded yet. I think the mid-year often leaves one in the middle of the crossroads: whether to go on or not. But the reality is whether I move forward, back ward, or stay where I am, the world will still keep spinning.

I am not very afraid of what could happen in the future. Still, financial constraints, time constraints, education, and marriage (haha) bother me all at once or one after the other.

Yet, all I have to remember is to perform my rightful duties and remember that I am not entitled to the fruits of actions. Moreover, the season will pass, so as the pains and joys, failures, and victories.