From July

The photo above was taken when my friend gave birth to her firstborn. Too bad we forgot to take pictures of her and her baby boy; instead we took pictures right after we left the hospital.

When I first learned about her pregnancy sometime last year, I admit I was hit by a pang of loneliness and panic. I was thinking that every body is now growing--stepping into the ladder of adulthood, while I’m being left alone.

As an introvert, it was almost always difficult for me to make new friends. Actually I don’t need that much. I was and still am contended with the circle of people I’m revolving around now, only that it’s getting smaller and smaller as the days grow.

After college or every body started moving into their own paths and all you are left with are memories of your once dear friends, now turned strangers. I have a lot of that; only to a few I really shed a hint of sadness and regrets.

I missed my college buddy, a couple of high school friends, and another one from college. They were among the trusted people I have in this world, but at one point, I gradually accepted that they cannot be my friends forever, at a time in the future, those dear to me would soon lose their identities I had once etched in my mind.

Still, I’m not out of people to love. A friend once told me that if you want to make the friendship last, you must always put some efforts for you to maintain the communication and relationship.

She’s right in a big way. In fact, I consider myself lucky to have her as a friend. There will be times when we’d see each other weekly. Though, at present, we only keep in touch through technology, and I regret how we were not able to meet, along with another friend last week because of fate, I know, that she won’t easily relinquish me as her friend.

We have another friend, and I kind of miss him because although he may be full of negative thoughts sometimes, he’s crazy and humorous and talkative.

I can only be talkative to a few people, or when I share something that I’m passionate about. And with that, I can be comfortable with talkative, but not aggressive and vain people.

Now, remembering the photos above, and my friends, and everything that happened in July, I come to think now that I stepped into a doorway, getting in another world and never to return as my old self. I hope I could easily share it with my small circle.

But some events need trust, understanding, a dash of imagination and some rainbows.

I hope, even though we step into the ladder of adulthood one by one, we do not lose passion and colors and friends. The world is a cruel place, and though we might feel like crying on our own, or getting mad alone, friends will always be necessary. They’re like attachments to our souls. They warm you up with words and actions and communication.